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Welcome to Groogle, the Internet Search Engine For the Rest of Us  


Greetings, web surfer, and welcome to Groogle, the Internet search engine company for the rest of us. We believe that being inspired by others' creations--what spoilsports call "borrowing"--is the key to global success.

Who is Groogle? Groogle is the brainchild of a unique network of poverty-stricken geeks who aspire to being filthy-rich geeks. Referring to our countries of origin, one wag has labeled our informal network CHAGRIN: China, Amsterdam, Greece, Russia, India, Nigeria. You know, places where smart guys are also poor guys, and hacking is an attractive employment opportunity.

OK, the Dutch guys aren't really poor, but they're not rich, either--and hacking is way more fun than the other boring jobs they qualify for, like working for The Royal Dutch Comestibles Trading Company (RDCTC), which incidentally, is one of our investors, along with the People's Liberation Army (People's Republic of China).

We thought about hacking the ad placement software of "that other Internet search engine"--you know the one that's worth a gazillion dollars--but then we made a profound discovery. A simple word-matching script one of us wrote in about 10 minutes while waiting for water to boil (yes, we eat ramen, too) works as well or better than the fancy ad-matching code massaged by thousands of employees in Silicon Valley.

That's why we can place your ad so effectively and cheaply. There's only a few dozen of us and the script is just a few dozen lines of code--and most of us are busy writing click-fraud programs which are coring out the business model of "that other Internet search engine." Why waste your money on their pricey ads, when a practically random word-matching script written by a bored 16-year old works better?

So when you see "ad by Groogle," you're not only getting a cost-effective ad placement, you're also getting click-fraud-proof ads. How can we guarantee this? Because we wrote all the click-fraud scripts, and know how they work.

So why use those other guys, knowing your account is being jacked to the rafters with fraudulent clicks? Why watch your ad money disappear down a rathole? Switch to Groogle, and we'll even promise not to hack your site. (unless you have really really good stuff, in which case you don't need to advertise.)

Groogle--the search engine for the rest of us, with servers in countries without extradition treaties or indeed, rule of law.


                                                           


NOTE: this is a parody, intended for the entertainment of readers.

copyright © 2006 Charles Hugh Smith. All rights reserved in all media.

I would be honored if you linked this parody to your site, or printed a copy for your own use.


                                                           


 
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