| Now 2007 |
Then 2011 |
| Trade in 2-year old SUV for a new model
|
Drive SUV to wrecking yard and pay them $50 to take it off your hands
|
| Dish TV with 200 channels |
small TV found on curb, make antenna out of coat hanger, 4 channels
|
| cellphone plan for entire family, talk to your friend for hours |
ride your bike over to see your friend in person
|
| pick fruit for fun on weekends |
pick fruit for cash weekdays
|
| Hire nanny, gardener, personal trainer, seamstress, cleaning service |
distribute flyers around last wealthy enclave seeking work as nanny, gardener, seamstress
or maid
|
| 4 cars, one for each family member |
one car shared by three families
|
|
long commutes and late hours |
no commute, because no one in the house has a job
|
|
pay an expensive tax attorney and accountant to do your taxes |
file no taxes because you have no income
|
|
download 20 iTunes and 5 ringtones a month |
download 5 iTunes a year when Grandma gives you $5 gift certificate for your birthday
|
|
buy a $4 coffee at Starbucks every day to treat yourself |
make yourself a cup of coffee with two spoons of coffee instead of one because
you found a half-used can in the dumpster
|
|
Treat your dog Fifi to "baked fresh dog biscuits" for $12, after paying for her
shampoo and grooming ($40), teeth cleaning ($50) and nailcare $($30) |
Let Fifi lick the cornbread batter bowl
|
|
buy $60 designer jeans with holes and tears in them |
spend 60 cents on thread to patch old jeans with holes and tears in them
|
|
go to the Mall and blow $20 on nothing special |
go to the Mall and look at all the spooky closed shops
|
|
buy expensive nutritional supplements and organic produce |
grow organic produce in your own backyard
|
|
donate money to groups and politicians agitated about Gay Marriage |
no longer care about Gay Marriage or any "issue" except keeping the electricity on
and getting enough to eat
|
|
buy $100 tickets to your kids' favorite pop/hip-hop music band's concert |
tell kids to form jug band and beg on corner for spare change
|
|
ride your stationary bike for exercise while watching Oprah |
ride your bike to the "free peanut butter" distribution office
|
|
Spend $500 on a "get rich quick in real estate" seminar |
curse the day you fell for that "invest in real estate" frenzy
|
|
decide which of your 12 credit cards you're going to use today |
try to remember what having credit was like
|
|
Buy new PC every two years, upgrade to new version of Windows and Office |
Shout for joy when old Windows98 PC you found when squatters next door moved away
actually boots up
|
|
look at your mutual funds every weekend to see how much they went up |
wonder how much money you'd have made if you'd shorted the market in 2007
|
|
go to zillow.com for fun and see how much your house has risen in value since you
looked 3 months ago |
go to zillow.com on the library PC and see how much your old house has dropped
|
|
complain about high taxes |
feel nostalgic for making so much money you owed taxes
|
|
plan to retire at your lakeside property you bought with no money down |
consider squatting in an abandoned lakeside McMansion when you qualify for Social Security
|
|
get angry at scammers getting "crazy money" from SSI/Social Security |
check out applying for "crazy money" from SSI/Social Security
|
|
pity the poor old people who are living on Social Security |
try to hang on until you turn 62 and can start collecting that HUGE Social Security check
|
|
Increase auto insurance to cover teens |
drive with no insurance
|
|
Deposit $3,000 in your IRA every April 1 |
withdraw last $500 of IRA for groceries
|
|
Unlimited DVD rentals with Netflix |
share one DVD among extended family
|
|
Go to the game a few times a year, spend $300 on tickets, $100 on parking, hot dogs and beer |
Watch the game on your cousin's big-screen TV; he's a cop and still drawing a paycheck
|
|
Visit the doctor for a $5 co-pay, company plan picks up the rest |
use library PC to log onto WebMD
|
|
Expensive vacations to Greek Islands and China |
borrow library book on Greek islands and eat Chinese take-out twice a year
|
|
Eat twice a month at fancy restaurants, and twice a week at fast-food/pizza places |
Split one steak among whole family for Christmas, make meatless pizza at home
|
|
Go to gym three times a week, still can't lose weight |
Dig ditches and plant trees in government workfare program, lose 50 pounds without even trying
|
|
Go to doctor for sniffles, aches, etc., get all drugs for free |
go to library and use PC to log onto WebMD, take "miracle drug" aspirin
|
|
Go to friends' house to play Playstation 3, XBox, World of Warcraft, etc. |
got to empty lot to play stickball, made-up games with cardboard boxes, boards, etc.
|
