The Upside of Adversity

August 5, 2024

A steady diet of adversity prepares one for both the low-level adversities of daily life but also for the metaphorical droughts and floods that push us to our limits of endurance and adaptability.

We all know the downside of adversity: it's tiresome, and if it pushes us up against our limits long enough, it can break us.

If my life is any indication, some of our adversity is outside our choosing and control, while other instances of adversity result from our own decisions and/or traits. We may take risks with the goal of advancing, and end up with adversity. We may choose a difficult path and find it far more arduous than we could possibly have imagined. Or we may have experienced success from the start, and be unprepared for the adversity that inevitably follows easy success.

Longtime correspondent Matthew W. recently observed that humans share a core trait with other forms of life:

"Just like animals and crops, if you give too much up front, they grow weak, and being unable to stand any hardship, eventually succumb to simple problems that any normal living thing could tolerate. I see the same application in work. The one who must struggle ceaselessly during training flourishes when placed into a space that requires typical prowess, whereas those who are constantly led by the hand, require massive support systems to do even simple tasks, until their ineptitude ultimately bankrupts the company, leading to their loss of work."

This is the upside of adversity: a steady diet of adversity prepares one for both the low-level adversities of daily life (Murphy's Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong, etc.) but also for the metaphorical droughts and floods that push us to our limits of endurance and adaptability.

As the famed stoic emperor Marcus Aurelius observed, "You have power over your mind--not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength." In other words, we don't control everything going on around us, we only control our response to the circumstances we find ourselves in.

Where we find strength to endure adversity depends on our experience and personality. In the modern era, the Existentialists perceived the world as devoid of absolutes, and so we make our lives by our actions. Ralph Waldo Emerson said as much: "Do the thing and you shall have the power."

My summary is: never mind what you think or feel, just do the work: persevere above all else. Marcus said much the same: "Begin--to begin is half the work, let half still remain; again begin this, and thou wilt have finished."

It is noteworthy that Marcus spent the entire first chapter of his Meditations expressing gratitude to all those who taught him and aided his advance in skills and wisdom. Gratitude for what we have and have learned helps us orient ourselves to the task at hand, enduring adversity and emerging stronger as a result. Here is Marcus: "Let not your mind run on what you lack as much as on what you have already."

There is also the strength found in faith, something philosopher Soren Kierkegaard addressed in the 19th century. To have faith that the adversity we must endure is as it should be, despite the difficulties and suffering: "And when one knows the frightful truth that there is no evasion or excuse, then one does what one shall." (page 15, The Lily of the Field and the Bird of the Air)

For Kierkegaard, faith is not only seeking God's aid, it is a life-changing experience: "The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays."

Marcus expressed similar notions of fate and faith:

"Nothing happens to any man that he is not formed by nature to bear."

"Here is the rule to remember in the future, When anything tempts you to be bitter: not, 'This is a misfortune' but 'To bear this worthily is good fortune.'"

"Everything that happens happens as it should, and if you observe carefully, you will find this to be so."

The Taoists viewed the world as constant change, and our adversities arise from seeking the impossible: to lock in a situation that suits us. As Lao Tzu wrote in the Tao Te Ching (Dao De Jing), "Reversal is the movement of Tao." For the Taoists, the highest skills flow from constant practice until the skills summon themselves.

Marcus possessed the same wisdom:

"Observe constantly that all things take place by change, and accustom thyself to consider that the nature of the Universe loves nothing so much as to change the things which are, and to make new things like them."

And so how to we proceed in the face of adversity? By moving forward: As Lao Tzu wrote: "The journey of a thousand li begins with a single step."

Here is Marcus: "Forward, as occasion offers. Never look round to see whether any shall note it. Be satisfied with success in even the smallest matter, and think that even such a result is no trifle."

For Kierkegaard, the ultimate purpose of life is to acquire oneself, to become true to oneself: "The most common form of despair is not being who you are."

"The greatest hazard of all, losing one's self, can occur very quietly in the world, as if it were nothing at all. No other loss can occur so quietly."

If we can remain true to ourselves, then we'll discover what Marcus knew: "Where a man can live, he can also live well."

It is wise to focus on what we can do in the present moment, but also wise to explore our past for insights and strengths we can apply to the present:

Marcus: "Confine yourself to the present."

Kierkegaard: "Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."