The Paper Waist Test (and a July 4th Message)

July 4, 2016

"If liberty means anything at all it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear."

For those expecting a rousing 4th of July essay--sorry to disappoint you. I am a sucker for goofy web fads--for example, the paper waist test that made the rounds in China earlier this year.

The test is simple: does an A4 piece of paper (8.27 × 11.69 inches) held vertically cover your waist? The test is females-only, as only those women with slight builds can possibly pass the test, for example:

The test was widely mocked for all the reasons you'd expect, but there is a derivative paper waist test that applies to both men and women that takes discipline and fitness into account as well as genetics.

In this paper waist test, the question is: does an A4 (or 8.5" by 11") sheet of paper held vertically cover your waist in profile?

I decided to take the test; here is the result:

Granted, this is a goofy test that proves nothing. That said, passing it at 62 years of age requires rigorous discipline and fitness if you can also pass the Army Physical Fitness Test (APFT):

I'm 61 and Took the Army Physical Fitness Test: Here's My Score (October 2015)

I'm 60 Years Old and Took the Army Physical Fitness Test (APFT) (April 24, 2014)

My philosophy of the good life boils down to Self-Reliance: Control What You Can (Food/Fitness) (August 15, 2015)

Edward Abbey expressed a similar vision for America:

Many people will scoff at this vision, claiming that we need global corporations to provide all the stuff independent small businesses cannot. This is certainly the case for CPUs and other processors that require $1 billion+ fabs.

But do we really need corporate cartels to control everything else? In a nation of small-scale energy wild-catters, do we really need a handful of corporations controlling energy?

In a nation of small farmers, do we really need to cede all the political power to Monsanto and a handful of agri-business cartels?

In a nation where the self-taught have accomplished great things, do we really need a higher education cartel operating an enormously profitable diploma mill for college degrees?

In a nation of independent thinkers, do we really need a mainstream/financial media controlled by six corporations to tell us how to contextualize the "news"?

Do we really need a Nannycrat government telling us what is politically correct, even if it's all for PR and public consumption, i.e. intrinsically inauthentic?

Though he wasn't American, perhaps George Orwell described the real meaning of July 4th better than anyone:

"If liberty means anything at all it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear."


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